UNCLE VINNY’S USA SCOUTING REPORT
An Honest Review of the USA
Ever wondered what America looks like unfiltered?
Step aside, polished travel guides. Uncle Vinny’s USA Scouting Report isn’t here to sugarcoat the road. Written by Vincenzo Pantone, this hilarious and sharp-eyed journey across all 50 states delivers the real story behind America’s postcard image. From Alaska’s frozen grit to Florida’s humid chaos, Uncle Vinny calls it like he sees it with humor, honesty, and grit backed by hard data. Each state receives its own “report card,” grading everything from economy and education to crime, culture, and chaos. The analysis draws from official sources such as the FBI, U.S. News, and the Census Bureau, all filtered through Vinny’s unfiltered wit. The result is part travel guide, part roast, and a love letter to a country that’s as wild and unpredictable as the people who call it home. Packed with humor, truth, and tough love, Uncle Vinny’s USA Scouting Report is perfect for travelers, trivia buffs, or anyone curious about how their state stacks up. It’s the guidebook America didn’t ask for but definitely needs.
Hit the road with Uncle Vinny and discover America like never before.
Excerpt:
Oregonians, huh? These people are like the hipster kings of the Pacific Northwest. You ever meet one of these guys? They don’t just drink coffee—they’re brewing kombucha in their backyard. And not just in a pot or something normal. No, no, they got a yurt back there. A yurt! I’m like, what happened to a normal patio? I’m just trying to relax outside, and these guys are setting up a whole ecosystem. You know you’re in Oregon when you see yurts and fermented tea. That’s their vibe. Eco-friendly, off the grid, and a little too proud of it.
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"A blunt, confrontational and brutally honest romp through the USA"
"Uncle Vinny's humorous views feel like a smart, angry friend ranting about America over a glass of wine"
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“Uncle Vinny's perspective is always right on the money. He calls it like he sees it, and gives a great overview at the same time. Uncle Vinny leaves
you wanting to find out more about the next state he summarizes, super helpful. Pleasantly informative as well as entertaining!" ~ Katie
Barbarossa, Tennesee
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“Actually quite insightful and chock-full of the best and worst each state has to offer. Uncle Vinny’s voice is now stuck in my head like an earworm.”
~ Kevin Culcasi, California
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“Uncle Vinny lays it all out: the good, the bad, and the absolute dumpster fire. It’s hilarious, it’s brutally honest, and even if you’ve got zero plans to leave your couch, you’ll flip through the pages like you're on a mission. It's like having your loud uncle yelling state facts at you while you’re driving cross-country. I wouldn’t even think about traveling without it."
~ T.L. Hughes author of Parts Unknown, California